Google launches new laptop PC – with telepathic interface!

Google launches new laptop PC – with telepathic interface!

Google (GOOG) just announced a partnership with Alienware – Dell’s (DELL) custom PC branch – in order to provide a brand new laptop computer shipping with Google’s Android operating system pre-installed.

The state-of-the-art laptop (still known as its product number, GG-1984) will sell for a mere $100 but there is a catch: the laptop has a built-in brain wave reading chip, with sensors that need to be applied onto the user’s skull. The sensors connect to the laptop via a USB port.

Using the sensors is of course of optional but they are required for Internet access through Google’s new ISP, GoGoogle. In fact, GoGoogle is the only ISP authorized by the new laptop so consumers may feel they are bound to Google when it comes to using a laptop clearly designed for surfing and using online applications.

The brain wave reader (with technology licensed by Google Labs) then sends usage and behavioral data to Google, later to be made available in Google Analytics.

For Google this is a strategic move as they intend to get rid of the Google Bar altogether and needed a way to retain such a flow of vital information about their customers.

Rivals Omniture and WebTrends are enraged as they intended to launch similar projects in the coming days.

Representatives at Omniture could not be reached for formal comments but one of their employees was quoted as complaining that “resistance was futile, Google Analytics will be assimilated”.

If you were wondering, you can get new reports from Google Analytics! The most interesting report showing the complexity of a conversion process applied to a goal. In the report below, high brain activity for a given goal means it’s difficult to understand.

I hope we can soon buy the device to install on desktop computers instead of buying the laptop. I really want Google to know everything about my surfing habits!